||[Dec. 27th, 2006|01:28 am]
i just filled out a stupid quiz about 2006 and deleted it
it was a good year, i learned, i got lost along the way, but i always got back on track somehow
i mad good decisions, and horrible ones, but everything happens for a reason, right?
that seems to be the topic of discussion lately
"she is so different" "oh my god, look how much he's changed"
we have all changed, and that is the truth
i know i have
good or bad? is the real question
i feel like it's impossible not to come back different
we're all in different surroundings, with different people, we're bound to change somehow
at first it was shocking to me
now i have accepted it
no one has really changed negatively in my eyes
i wonder what we'll all be like by the end of college
gradually we've developed into who we are now, and the process is never ending
i just can't wait to see who we are once these four or five years are over
where we all end up
who we still talk to
i'd like to say that all of my friends now will be my friends forever
but is that realistic? no.
some of us have made it through thirteen years, and no one expected that
so what's four or five more?
i guess it's the distance that could drag us apart
only if we let it though, that's my opinion
i'm just interested to see who will be at my wedding, if i do get married that is
the other night i was upset and feeling shitty so i said i wanted to be back at school
the truth is, i kind of do
it's weird because i love everyone here, i really do, but something is off
and i miss fredonia
you know, i call it home a lot of the time
it feels like home
sometimes this place just feels like somewhere i live when necessary
that line from gardenstate just plays over and over in my head...
Andrew Largeman: You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.
Sam: I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew Largeman: You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.
yeah, that is what i feel like sometimes
i have a certain urge to call gabe, i'm not sure why
it's late, and he's in ohio, so i won't
i miss talking to him on the phone for hours
i just saw this movie
i can't think of the name of it now
it's about this 37 year old woman who dates her therapist's son who is 23
it was quite good, had uma thurman in it and some lovely guy
i really want to be in love someday
i hope that someday is soon
half the reason i don't date is me
i can't seem to just put myself out there, take the plunge
i think i'm going to have to start, or else i'll be a cat lady for sure
i guess that's it for now
peace and love